Thinking of You
by Ms Quinn Fabray
Summary: Quinn/Sam/Finn based on Katy Perry's "Thinking of You" I don't own Glee, any of the characters, or Katy Perry's "Thinking of You"


**Thinking of You**

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection_

What would you do, if you threw away the best thing in your life? Where would you go, who would you turn to? Because I know that feeling, I've been living this nightmare for close to a year now. For awhile I could hide behind my relationship with Puck. But shortly after Beth was born, he and I realized that we didn't really love each other, and without the baby we had nothing in common, and so we'd broken up. And so I was left with nothing but the will to regain my former self. My spot on the Cheerios, my friends, my Finn. That last one was probably the most impossible. He was with Rachel now, and as much as it killed me, I wanted him to be happy. I owed at least that much to him, after all I had put him through.

__

You said move on, where do I go?  
I guess second best is all I will know

It was a few weeks ago, when I approached Finn. Yes, it's true that Rachel had asked me to do it. But when she asked me to march up to Finn and suggest we get back together, I had _some_ selfish reasons for doing it. I guess I never really got over Finn. So when I spoke the words "I think we should be together," there was a part of me that meant it with all of my heart. And when he had told me that he would always have feelings for me, but he loved Rachel, the words had cut like a knife. In fact, they had cut far deeper than even I expected them to.

_How do I get better once I've had the best?  
You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test_

And then along came Sam Evans, the new boy at McKinley. Sam was seemingly perfect. Tall, blond, gorgeous, with abs that could cut glass. And that was only the physical. Add the fact that he was sweet, funny, and genuinely _liked_ me, and you can see how I had a hard time resisting. In fact, as far as Sam was concerned, I could only see one flaw. _He wasn't Finn. _But I couldn't have Finn, so when Sam asked me to be his duet partner I had said yes. And when we won the duet competition, and went out to Breadstix, I had allowed myself to call it a date. I even let him kiss me goodnight at the end of the evening. I had to move on; it was all I could do.

__

'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you

_Thinking of you, what you would do  
If you were the one who was spending the night  
Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

It's early December, and my mother is out of town for the weekend with her new

boyfriend. So I've invited Sam over for a sleepover. He's officially been my boyfriend for just over a month now, and he's been great. Really. He doesn't push me toward anything I'm not ready for, and he's just been…sweet. Lying next to him feels nice. I lay my head on his chest and he plays with my hair, and it's nice. But it just doesn't feel the same. I look up into his eyes, and he smiles at me, and I hate myself because I just wish it was Finn's brown eyes I was staring into. I crinkle my eyebrows, and shake my head at the thought. 'What is wrong with me?' I think. 'Sam's wonderful, and he cares about me, and he's here.' "What's wrong babe?" Sam asks, putting his hands on my shoulders and massaging a little. I smile. "Nothing, I just have a lot on my mind with school and stuff. Don't worry." He kisses my forehead. "You sure?" I sigh. "Yes, I'm fine. I promise." _Except that I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend…_

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth,  
He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself_

"I'm glad you're letting me stay over." He says with a smile, and leans down to pull me into a kiss. A perfect, soft, sweet kiss. "Mmm.. you taste like strawberries." I instantly feel guilty, because when he kissed me all I could taste was Finn. "Mmm. Yea, my lipgloss is strawberry." "It's delicious. You're delicious." He says, kissing me again, pulling me even closer. Finn's face flashes through my mind, and I hate myself even more. So I wrap my arms around Sam's neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. "You taste like mint." I murmur, kissing him again, even harder than before, letting my mouth wander down his neck. He gulps. I usually only stick to his lips, but I'm feeling guilty for thinking of Finn so I let my lips and hands wander a bit more than usual, and allow his to do the same.

After awhile, he pulls away. "Quinn, we have to stop." "Why?" I ask. "Because, we're supposed to be taking things slow, and right now that's the last thing I want to do. But I want this relationship to matter. So we have to stop, before I can't stop." My God, does he have to be so perfect? As if I didn't feel bad enough. "That's incredibly sweet, Sam." I say, with a smile. "I really respect that." I run my fingers through his hair, and settle myself back into his arms. He kisses my hair. "Night, beautiful." I give him a quick squeeze. "Goodnight, Sam." I fight back the tears. This is so unfair to Sam.

__

You're the best, and yes, I do regret  
How I could let myself let you go  


Sam leaves early the next morning, for basketball practice. I force myself out of bed, and up to shower and make breakfast. Sam said he would be back after practice, so I should probably put something together for lunch. I start to cut up vegetables to make a salad, but my mind keeps wandering. I wonder if Finn ever thinks of me, the way I always end up thinking of him. The answer is undoubtedly "no" and who could blame him? I cheated on him, with his best friend no less, then lied to him for several months about a baby that he thought was ours. I regret all these things, but my biggest regret was not fighting harder for him when he left me. I should have apologized, begged, groveled, whatever it took to get him back in my life. By now I'm sobbing, and shouldn't be cutting anything when I can hardly see through my tears, so I drop the knife on the counter and sink to the floor. What a mess I've made of my life. If I had just told him the truth from the beginning, maybe we could have salvaged what we had. Maybe he would still be in love with me, and I wouldn't be pretending with Sam. I must fall asleep at this point, because the next thing I know, Sam's standing over me. "Quinn? Are you alright? You didn't answer your phone, and then I come in and find you on the floor. What happened?" "Uh…nothing. I just slipped on the floor. I must have hit my head or something." "Well, we should probably get you to a hospital. You might have a concussion." "NO! I mean, no. That's fine. I really didn't hit it that hard. I'm alright, I promise." "Alright.. well, maybe I should just take you upstairs. And I'll finish this lunch that you clearly started." "Sound good?" I nod, and he lifts me up in his arms and carries me up the stairs to my bed. He lays me down gently and kisses my cheek. "I'll be right back with lunch."

_Oh, won't you walk through?  
And bust in the door and take me away?  
Oh, no more mistakes  
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay_

I'm lying on my bed waiting for Sam to bring up our salads, when I hear, "Quinn?" It's a male voice. A _familiar _male voice, but it isn't Sam's. "Finn?" I call out, sitting up on my bed. Sure enough, there he is, standing at the foot of my bed. "What are you doing here?" "I love you, Quinn. I always have, and I always will. I don't think I could stop if I tried." He takes my hand, and pulls me up off the bed. He looks down at me, and I see myself in those big, beautiful chocolate brown eyes. I smile at him, trying to hold back the tears. "Do you mean that, Finn?" He nods. "Of course I do." "But what about Rachel?" I ask, warily. "I broke up with her. I explained that while I loved her, I had given my heart away a long time ago. My whole heart. And I never got it back." I smile, because he's quoting my favorite movie (Sweet Home Alabama). "I love you." He says, with that adorable smirk of his. "You're like the prettiest girl in school, you know?" I reach up to pull his face toward mine and kiss him tenderly. "Can we be in love again?" I whisper. "Yes, I'd really like that." He says, and kisses me again.

"Quinn…. QUINN?" Sam says, shaking me ever so slightly. "Hmm….what?" "Babe you must have fallen asleep. Lunch is ready." I look up at him and the realization hits me like a ton of bricks. _It was all a dream…_


End file.
